In a prior post I talked about the general things to do if you want to get into spanking and never did it before.
I talked briefly about safewords. Too briefly. So I will go more into details here. Details that could be very important for you and your partner(s). Because safewords are not only for Bottoms.
First, why do we use safewords?
Safewords will be used to let the Top know that somethings is wrong or off a little. Rather the Bottom feels sick, feels pain where it shouldn’t be, feels dizzy or feels too much pain, the safeword can be and must be called. It is the responsibility of the Bottom to let the Top know if something is wrong.
Does that mean the Top can do whatever as long as a safeword is not called? Absolutely not. The Top has to keep an eye on the Bottom at all time and make sure (s)he is OK. As a Top, I often ask to my partner, specially a new partner, how (s)he is doing during the scene.
Tops also have to keep an eye on the bruises, marks, drops of blood that can appear on the skin. (S)He has to keep in mind the limits that were negotiated and make sure not to cross them.
Also some Bottom get into “subspace” during a scene. The Top has to recognize the signs of a “subspace” and know that the Bottom will not be able to call for a safeword in that condition.
What kind of safewords can we use?
There are usually 2 kinds. One commonly used is RED. That means the scene has to stop immediately. Something is really wrong or life threatening. The Top has to stop. If you ever play with someone who doesn’t stop on a RED, I would advice you never to play with that person again.
The second one that is commonly used is Yellow. That one could be used when the Bottom feels (s)he needs to stop for a few seconds, but don’t want to stop the spanking. (S)He needs to catch his/her breath or the pain is a bit too hard or the Bottom is not comfortable in that position… The reason is not important, there can be many kind of reasons. What’s important is that the Top needs to slow down and listen to the Bottom.
Most Tops will give their Bottom a safeword or 2. Rather they be RED and YELLOW doesn’t matter. But it has to be words that both will recognize when uttered.
The Bottom has the responsibility to call the safeword when necessary. But the Top still has the responsibility to keep the Bottom safe despite the safeword.
Play SAFE!!! Have Fun!!